So this is an old comedy bit I performed that ill translate to Irish.

(enter breathless) GOOD MORNING VIETNAMMM!!!!

Ba brea liom chun a bheith ag tosnú an óráid so le fáthscéal. Scéal beag ina úsáid chun ceacht morálta a múnadh, mar a dearfá. Bhí mé sa léácht i UCC. Agus bhí mic léinn sa léacht, ceart? Agus an bhí an léachtóir ag spúchadh ráiméis faoi, faoin gcaoi nach raibh cearta na mban réalachas, rud a raibh a fhios ag gach duine a bhí bréagach, ach dá labhródh aon duine amach, bheadh sé thar a bheith SÁSTA chun aon duine a chuir faoi Mosh. Níor labhair aon duine suas. Glór fear amháin amach. Tosnaigh duine amháin ag caint. . Ní creideann an léáchtóir é. Ní creideann na mhic léinn é freisin. Bhí an fear so “kneel the gassy tyson”. Agus mothaím an chiall spraoí páistiúil agus, SOINEANNTA chéanna sin ó “Gassy Tyson” sa seomra so anois.

Anois, tá sibh ag céistiú "cé hé an gasúr so ar an stáitse, le cloch ar a ghualainn agus a cheann ina mhuinchille." Is fearr an cheist: "Cad a spreagann an duine seo? Cad a spreagann thú? Ba mhaith liom freagra, cad a spreagann thú?" Is fearr duit rud éigin a aimsiú, a mhic. Spreagann an rud so dom, ag múnadh do mhuintir Sami na Fionlainne conas cód html a úsáid. Seo iad dúshláin amár – ar aghaidh libh amárach. Ceart go leor? Conas a gheobhaimid uisce glan do 2 bhilliún Sínigh? An bhfuil freagar agat? Is iad na smaointe a thiomáineann an domhan. Agus ní hamháin aireagáin iontacha cosúil le Rock Shandy, ach rudaí beaga cosúil leis an micreafón seo, a chuireann ar mo chumas labhairt leis na boid salaigh.

so im michael lief, im an important thinker. im a creator, an innovator, an artist, an idea. But above all else, im a passionate childlike innovator. Ive been all around the glrobe, globe (whipers globe) We've got at least 1 billion people in the world! and according to un projections, it will go up to 50 billion people! thats alot of mouths to feed, and i font think theyll be able to feed themselves. So we gotta start making ROBOTS to bridge that GAP. The wests sick addiction to fossil fuel. is going to make this planet uninhabitable. for the future generations. Uhh. you know what im on a bout youve seen the film Furry Vengance its essentially whats happening, were too selfish, and were driving our car too much and thats getting nature out of the picture.

now we looked at the data, we looked at the data andd what we found surprised us, what we found right there, what we found is that culture is a sewer. Studies show that we doont play hard enough. we gotta play harder!Its because its that sense of childlike playing, ehh, thats gonna save us in the end, kneel tyson. (tosnaigh ag gáire go holc) Bhí mé i Baile Átha Troim Bhí me le gnóthasín, tá seans gur chuala tú a hainm riamh. X.com. ok? elon musk was there. team of innovators, artists, creators, ideas, thinkers. we were giving out ipads to use for crypto mining. and playing angry bird (bwaah). and its sooooo waaaaackkky because theres nothing to it, you just "doop, Doop", swipe it, and it works. but these guys , we gave them, we gave them like 2 hour tutorials, and they couldnt figure out how to use the bleedin things. the problem is us. the so-uh thr people in this room right now, the solution is us, the problem is greedy corporations, uhh, we do things that matter, RTÉ.. ill just skip ahead here...

BY MY CALCULATIONS we have 5 years until the world ends, unless we can start to reverse things like POLLUTION AND climate change. POLLUTION,climate incineration, THESE ARE BIG PROBLEMS. FIX IT, NOW!!! (hoggy grunt) this a pivotal moment in human history. take this in, i know im a good pupblic speaker. (laugh|). You are going to remember this forever. The 2740 future! Now! Whaaat Whuut! Beidh na caoga blian ó sin, tromchuiseach go léir... dearfaidh mé. An géarchéim thithíochta cad a dhéanfaimid? Mucanna éabhlóidithe sa seannad. An bhfuil gá agam níos mó a rá? Súil im theanta (céim timpeall an stáitse) Dublin whil become an enourmous Danish-built needle shaped tower. with each floor crushing the one benath it. the base which will hold the dregs of society such as farmers and other breeds of bogtrotters will start at a rent of 8000 euro a month. the spire, uhh tower will be owned by NGOS. what are they? I havent a fucking clue, dont look into it. But i will say that if your surname begins with an O, you may not be allowed into the tower.

Entire Provinces solely inhabited by data centres. We are going to grant them personhood and their going to be themed, drake x palantir, have a 2 johnnies sexual harrassment sticker on the outside of the building to tame the is200 retards. they already far surpass the "human capital" produced by this country! Just look at my expedition to trim! Tech data centres already take up 1/4 of Irelands electricity at half price. And in the future they will be pumped full of energy "SAOR IN AISCE!!!!" The One data centre campus owned by EdgeConneX in Lucan, Co Dublin is our civic duty to repect. It Is irelands Gift to the tech multinationals which graciously allow us to live. We only have 2 minutes left? oh ok, well uh. Tax, will be dropped for multinationals, and you, yes you, will have to pick up the SLACK! So the current goal that we should have right now is to build towards and attain a self replecating ai model. no matter how much "Airegead" we should pump into it. of course its no longer airegead but some other digital shit is cuma an diabhal liom.Im hearing some bigots objecting to this. well get this, what ai will do for the extorion of the elderly is equal to what brian cowens uncanny resembelance to a hog did for the irish political satire scene. Theres nothing you can do about that! And expect to see a whole lot more of these great european union reforms. a tax on tinfoil and the upcoming child ban. its the only am a way that we can stop peadophilia. AI search log history as your digital ID card. If your looking for a stable job, 3D printing eternal grogu fidgets is the way to go, they will quiet literally, never not exist. you cant get rid of them. the Polylactic Acid will essentially never degrade or be recyled. its in my blood rn actually. Good luck trying to find mossad in israel, it would be easier to look outside your 1 bed 1 bath apartment in dún laoighre for 54000 bonnie blue stake coin per month. uhh what else we got here, youre not going to like this one, no ones going to like this one.